Ever since we moved back to Indiana, our family has suffered a lot of losses. Within the first year of our arrival back, our children lost their Grandfather in July. This was so hard to watch Steve go through the loss of his father and our children’s Grandfather. It broke us all up something awful. There are still many times when I just so wish that Steve’s father was here for us to talk with and ask advice. I almost forget and feel like we can just call him and ask his wise advice and then I remember.
Our children also suffered the loss of a dear family pet that year and numerous farm animals. They so enjoy their animals. Each one is named and it always seems there is at least one child that takes a liking to that animal, caring for them in times of sickness, enjoying their presence in times of health, etc.
Then the next summer we lost our would-have-been 7th child on earth to a miscarriage in August. This was devastating to all of us. Our children had made special bracelets, cards, and even began building a treehouse for this baby brother or sister. After the miscarriage some of them cried, some stopped talking about the baby completely, some kept asking about the baby, and we mourned for months.
Then came last August and we again lost our baby to a miscarriage. This was baby Hope, who people often ask where she is after they hear our other girls’ names. This time we were left numb. So numb. So hurt and sad. We have noticed that since this last miscarriage our children will say things that let us know that they do not have that hope of life as they once did. They are fearful if we were to have another that we would lose our baby again. They are concerned about a birthmom taking a baby back from us. This is all very normal for children, but so hard as parents to watch and explain to them. Trusting the Lord is not always easy, but He is always there with us every step of the way and He will provide.
Three days ago one of our barn kittens had a heatstroke. We thought he was dead. One child automatically assumed we should just let him go. Another kept repeating that he’d be dead soon. I got out a dropper bottle and dropper and began to give him this rehydration drink that I am a distributor of. I had tried to give it away as I received it free. A friend told me to keep it and use it for our animals. I never dreamed! Anyway, this kitten was unable to move his front legs for over 2 days and just lay there, limp. I continued to feed him with our youngest son daily. Today, he was out of his little tote! He is moving his front legs some and half sitting up now. Our children have seen life today! Life that has come back. Life that they feared was gone for good again in a little kitten.
Then another son discovered a goat kid was born this morning in our barn. More life today! Oh, how good it feels to experience life! We’ve been thanking the Lord for life and praying for our future baby’s life. We are praying that our children do not have to go through a “loss” of an adopted baby (meaning the birthmom decides to parent, miscarriage, etc.). We are praying they will see the life in all of this walk. However, we know that God is in control at all times, not us. Not our ways, but His.
Praise God for all His blessings! He is faithful! We continue to be walking with the hope of life….