So, we shared our adoption budgeting with you last post. Today we’ll talk about “the waiting”.
First, you start the waiting process by contacting all the important people in an adoption like a consultant, an agency, a social worker, etc. You wait for them to call you back or meet with you.
Meanwhile, while you are waiting, you begin taking the whole family to the doctor to get their check-ups so that they can write a letter saying you all are free of infectious diseases and healthy. You also get all your pets up-to-date on vaccines. You start taking tons of pictures for your profile, which will be shown to the expectant moms. You begin writing your “Dear Birthmom” letter. You answer the questionnaires from your consultant, the agency and the social worker. Still waiting, you have your background checks done and get fingerprinted. You have your marriage license sent to the agency. You have your birth certificates sent to the agency. Waiting continues while you send in proof of funds and show your whole financial life to the agency. You schedule the home visit time for your homestudy. Still waiting, you begin searching for fundraisers to help with the cost of the adoption.
Fast forward and you are given the opportunity to have your profile presented to an expectant mom. You call and leave a message. You wait to hear more about the possible match. You run to the phone every time it rings. You frantically search your email every chance you get. You pray constantly. Then you hear when your profile will be presented. The day comes and you hold your breath. You wait all week. Then you finally get the call, “I’m sorry but so-and-so chose another family”. You feel somewhat devastated. This is your first “no”.
You ask to be presented to another possible match. You wait. You wait for the phone call. This call comes quickly, “I’m sorry, but so-and-so chose another family”. Okay, was it the way we looked in the pictures? Our big family? Our pets? Our faith? You begin to question your family’s profile. You continue to wait, but begin to realize that it’ll happen one day-the match. Just not yet.
Meanwhile, while waiting you hit the fundraising hard. Come on, we are going to do this!! We’re gonna have a ton of funds raised before we get matched! Let’s get busy! Then you complete your first fundraiser…small amount. Then the next..small amount. Little by little we begin to see some funds come in. You begin to feel like a total badger, emailing friends and family about the “latest fundraiser”. You hope and pray that they will understand you are not asking them to pay for a new car, but to come along side you and help give a child a forever home. You pray that people will shop through your fundraisers or share the information with their friends and family. Still waiting for that baby that is yours, you begin to feel as if you should just back off-slow down on the fundraisers, stop talking about adoption with everyone, stop reading books about orphans, etc. After all, who would choose us to adopt their baby? Doubt begins to creep in. What are you thinking? Why are you doing this? GOD.
Along comes another possibility and one of your children tells you that you better get busy on the fundraisers as this is the one that you need your profile shown to. You have some questions and doubt and begin praying hard and often about it. This one child begins to almost “circle” you like a vulture, counting the coins we’ve saved up in our baby bottle, asking how much we’ve made on fundraisers, have we said “yes” to showing our profile yet? and saying that this is the one that we need to show our profile for over and over. Okay, I already had several “talks” today with God and I don’t need the “vulture circling” over me every little bit. 🙂 Is this the one that we show our profile for and is this the one that will be our baby? Only the Lord knows. We continue to wait on Him.
Today I posted something on our refrigerator. It says, “It’s God’s baby, they are all His bills. He is FAITHFUL” This adoption walk is so unbelievable. It is amazing how our hearts have grown, how many tears we have shed for babies and expectant moms, how many people we have prayed for, how much spiritual battle is done for adoption, and how much waiting is involved. We believe He will show us our baby when it is time and He will provide. We serve an awesome God!
We continue the waiting walk.