Today started off great-the beautiful sun was shining, our children went out to catch lizards, Grandma came for a visit, and then….then we received an email from an agency we had asked about applying to. The email stated that they cannot help us at this time-our family is too large. So, I held back tears, but pushed on. Then we received an email from another agency that we had asked if they worked with families our size. The email stated that they only work with families that have 4 children or less. We are too big. Tears fell. Sobs were heard. Two rejection emails within a couple minutes of each other. “I want to quit” resonanted in my head.
Steve told me that this has been such a hard pill to swallow. It is hard facing reality that we are considered “older” and our family is “too big” already. We are told over and over not to take it personally. Yet, we pour our life story out in our profile to each birthmom and agency. We have to answer personal questions. We have to tell if our 6 children are biological or adopted (would they let us apply if we had adopted all these children?), what are our hobbies (do we seem active enough?), what do our medical reports say about us (are we healthy and do we look like we might live a few years longer…never mind that we could walk out and get run over tomorrow by a truck?), etc. It is personal rather people want to admit it or not. It is.
It is interesting how we see these urgent situations posted by at least one of the agencies that turned us down, in need of adoptive families for these babies/children and yet, we have too many children. What happens to these children? Do they go to foster care? Are they going to foster care because some of the agencies are not accepting big families that would gladly welcome another blessing? What is our society thinking and doing to children’s lives? Here we are more than willing to take out all our retirement (which is not much..), fundraise (which is so difficult to do/ask people to join) to pay the fees to adopt a baby/child and give him/her a permanent home, along with many siblings to love him/her to pieces. We have enough room in our house. Our house is safe. Steve has a great job. We share so much together as a family. And yet, we are too big? You mean a baby that we may have gladly taken into our arms is being put into foster care if noone comes forward in time? WHY? HOW?
We totally understand the need to allow families to parent who have never had a child or only have one. We think that is the way it should be. But, what about those situations that noone steps forward on? We aren’t allowed? Even though we have the money (fundraising, retirement account, and what ever else we scrape up), enough room in our home, the steady job, the love for an orphan, the desire to bring more children into our family, the desire to raise another child for the glory of the Lord…all that is not enough? Who says? Who decides this? How twisted has this world become? Please tell me that there are still people out there who will understand and give us a chance at being blessed by another blessing in our home.
I debated on sharing this with you all. You begin to think that it will affect how people see you. But, the Lord pushes me on to share our hearts with you, to be brutally open and honest with our journey. I am obedient. I will continue to write our story. We will continue to keep our eyes focused on the Lord and wait.
We could use your prayers today in the walk of rejection.
P.S. Praise God! I prayed and He led me to this site. I haven’t read through it all yet, but am loving the FAQ page. Check it out! http://www.foundationforlargefamilies.com/faq