Ironically, We are Still Walking

Tomorrow is our BIG day! We will meet our expectant mom! We will be going out to lunch with her and her case manager. 🙂

All kinds of questions and thoughts run through your head from what do we talk about (we are not supposed to talk much about the baby at all), what do we wear, to how long will we stay and chat at the restaurant? Plus, we need to stop and pick up a small gift for our expectant mom for our first face-to-face meeting. Will she like us? Will we seem too old? Will she like our lifestyle? Do we have too many gray hairs? Should we dress kinda up, but casual? Or very casual? Which sandals do I wear? Okay, I know Steve does not worry about that…it’s a girl thing! 🙂

So, if you all feel led, please pray for us tomorrow! Pray for our conversation to flow easily, for peace with all of our decisions, for wisdom in answering difficult questions, for trust, for openness, for love, for the Lord’s light to shine through us to our expectant mom, and for calm nerves. It still floors me to think of it all-this woman has chosen to carry our son through to birth, to endure the pain and difficulties of pregnancy and labor, and then to hand him to us to raise. She has chosen to go through what I cannot go through, but would love to endure again. She has chosen to give us a son. She has chosen LIFE for our son. She is loving him and us. We are so awed and thankful for her. We love her and our son already, even though we have not met face-to-face yet. We thank the Lord for his mercy and love on all of us.

Ironically, or is anything ironic? Ironically, two years ago today, I miscarried our Baby Hope. Ironically, three years ago the 24th of this month, in just a few days, I miscarried our Baby Boy. Ironically, tomorrow, right smack in the middle of my miscarriage dates (a time I never forget and grieve each year..although it does get better with time, but some times are pretty sad), we will meet the expectant mom of our son. A son that will be placed into our arms and family forever. How good is God. How amazing is He. He has carried me through the desert of two miscarriages that I thought I could never stand up from again. He lifted me up and carried me through that desert and now he is about to place a beautiful son in my arms after all these years of pain and sadness. He is about to give our children a baby brother after all their years of grieving for their lost(not truly lost, but in Heaven) siblings, talking about if we will ever have another blessing added to our family, and sharing their dreams of us having another baby. Beauty from ashes is what comes to mind. The Lord has taken such a sad time in our life and turned it into something beautiful to remember. Thanking the Lord for this! This is healing. This is love. I could not have seen this far, two or three years ago. I was thankful to put one foot in front of the other and walk through one day, but now we have this gift. We thank the Lord for His goodness and mercy. May we raise all of our children for His glory daily.

Ironically, we are still walking.

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