Walking

We met our expectant mom today. We are mentally and emotionally exhausted. I cannot begin to share all that we talked about…so much was shared in the space of two hours.

We brought her a pot of flowers and she thanked us at least 5-6 times for them. She loves flowers. She shared her life story with us which has been very rough and sad. She cried when she talked about how hard it is going to be to give this baby up for adoption. She said it is sad, but she knows it is for the best as she just cannot provide for this baby. She said we are amazing and she knows he will be where he belongs. Yes, for a brief moment I stumbled and did not know how to respond when she said how hard it would be to give up her son. Would she decide to parent and we lose our son? Would we lose our money that we have paid to the agency? This is where your mind can take you briefly. But, I pulled myself back together and we continued to talk.

Steve said it was similar to our wedding-the meeting was all about her and me. Weddings are always about the bride, he says and today was quite similar. She and I connected and spent most of the two hours talking. Once in awhile, Steve or the case manager was able to interject something.

After she shared how hard it will be to “give her baby up for adoption”, she teared up and began to cry. I got up and went to her side of the table and hugged her tight. I held her head tight to my shoulder and told her it will be okay and that she is doing fine. Then I cried as I shared with her what week this is for me-the miscarriage week. I shared how our children had so looked forward to having a baby sibling, but did not see their dreams come to fruitition.

When we got ready to leave, we took pictures and gave hugs. Lots of hugs. As we walked out to the car, I grabbed her and hugged her again. Held it together and didn’t cry again.

There was so much more, but I have tucked it safely away in my journal for our son so that someday we may share with him these memories of his birth mother. I even put down what she was wearing, how many siblings she has (ironically, she has 2 sisters and 4 brothers, exactly what our son will have!), where her father is, where she lives, her dreams, her hobbies, etc.

We have talked on the ride home about the meeting, I’ve journaled, and we still continue to talk about our day. I have so many thoughts running through my head and yet, can’t put them all into words.

Thank you for your prayers. We felt your prayers today. For once in my life, I was calm about something so big and exciting!

Please pray for us to continue to raise funds for our son’s adoption. If our expectant mom is induced, we will owe another amount of money on top of the already-stated fee. We are down to 8 weeks or less to pull together the last hurdle of funds. I have to admit that I did tremble a little today as Steve and I went over how much we have pulled together for the adoption and how much more we need to raise. But, I reminded myself that we are going to trust God totally on this and not let our flesh get in the way. What better way for the devil to ruin our day of meeting with our expectant mom, than to put doubt in our minds about raising the funds? Prayers for these funds to come in would be so appreciated! We are slowly getting there, but oh, how trying this time is.

All we ask is that if you know someone who needs a place to board horses, send them our way, if you know someone who likes books, send them our way, if you know a homeschooler, send them our way, if you like flower bulbs, send them our way, if you know someone who has a pocket-full of cash that is burning a hole in their pocket, send them our way, if you know someone who has some clothes to donate, send them our way, if you know someone, share our story.

Thank you for your prayers and support! We so appreciate it!

We are walking.

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