This Messy Walk

Adoption is a messy walk, but before I share more, I want to share my day with you all that I had on Friday!

Two of our livestock guardian dogs had a porcupine come visit them during the night in our barn!!!! They decided to eat it and greeted us in the morning with quills in their legs, snout, nose, around their eyes, in their tongue and roof of their mouth. I pulled quills for close to 30 minutes before finally deciding we needed a vet to help us pull. He came out and our oldest son, the vet, and myself sat up two bales of hay to lay the dogs on, a bale for each of us to sit on while operating and then began our surgery. The vet put the dogs under for that time. We spent 3.5 hours doing this surgery! We pulled out over 1,000 quills! We had blood all over us and our backs were killing us! Will our dogs leave the porcupines alone the next time? Doubt it. It is their job to guard our livestock and lay down their life for the livestock if need be. They will attack if he comes back regardless of the quills. I just dread having to pull quills again and pray none of them go in their sides where they could lodge and kill our dogs. So, when you think you are having a boring day and would like some excitement, think again. You could be pulling quills for 4 hours! 🙂

On to our adoption walk. We met with our expectant mom yesterday again. We got to see her apartment and take her to the park. We grilled out and had a nice cookout with her. After we left her, I told Steve that I felt like I wanted to vomit or cry my eyes out. This is such a messy walk. Our EM shared with us a lot, but some of the things did not match up with what I know to be true. This is hard. Is she holding back more or just not telling the truth? I want to know so much to be able to tell our son someday, but how much can I know? How unfair this is. She is very down right now as she knows noone here and is alone all week. She has taken to smoking a whole pack of cigarettes a day. Yes, we know how bad that is for our baby, but, what can we do? Our hands are tied. This is not our baby yet and we do not have say so over his health yet. She knows it is bad and addicting, but she does it. They’ve also added in some other medications to our health routine which add more to the unknown.

She shared several times about her circumstances financially. Steve reminded me that we need to stay focused on raising our baby. We are not adopting her too. This is hard. I’d love to run and help her, but know that we are still trying to raise the funds to give her baby a forever home! I have to sit on my hands. I think this is where it would really pull on most mama’s heartstrings!

I tried to find out more about her family heritage and the birth father’s heritage. The birth father is a scary man. Do we dare ever let our son know about him? He will ask someday. Oh, this is messy.

She wants us to be in the delivery room, but it’s not looking like that will be able to happen. We are sad about this.

It looks like she may have this baby sooner, like in 3-4 weeks! She is extremely tired, out of breath from walking and going up stairs, and much bigger in just a few short weeks since we saw her first. I’ve been through this a few times and she is right. She is not gonna make it to Oct.16. I’ve been saying this all along to Steve, but she confirmed my thoughts last night on her own. So, that makes us the more dizzy as we prepare like crazy. I’m trying to stock up on formula, wash our clothes, get food on the pantry shelves for when we are gone to the hospital, and still help us raise the last of our funds. We are still short some funds. If you would so kindly consider sharing our links with others, we would be ever so grateful! They don’t have to give money, just look over the links and if there is something they might already use or need, purchase through our links! They benefit and so do we. 🙂

She told us she wants us to name the baby. 🙂 She is fearful of the delivery, even though she has been through it before. Please pray for her to have peace about this delivery. She said several times that she knows it will be much better for the baby to be with us, but it is very sad for her. Oh, this heart-wrenching walk.

How do we walk this walk? With the Lord holding our hand! I once said that “we can do anything any where as long as we are holding the Lord’s hand”. We continue to live this out daily. Only lately, I’ve been holding a little tighter.

I am thrilled to share that I have 3 Usborne Books adoption fundraisers lined up! I am so happy to be helping others raise funds for their adoption! If you know of anyone needing an adoption fundraiser, please send them my way. I will give them 100% of my commission. I want to help others walk this walk.

Please pray for us to have some permanent horse boarders and more horse motel visitors! We really, really need this to help with our funds!

We continue to walk this messy walk.

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