Pulling Over to Bawl on This Walk

The Lord is good. He is so good to us and yet, we are so unworthy.

I grew up in a very dysfunctional family, never went to church, didn’t know anything much about Jesus except that for some reason He was hung on a cross, and yet, I would pray to God many, many times as I was growing up. I just knew there was a God and that He was always there listening to me. I felt His presence in every thing I did. Yet, I didn’t know His son, Jesus.

Fast forward many years later and I came to know and love Jesus as my Lord and Savior. I haven’t been the same since. I mean that in the most awesome, good way I can think of. He continues to bless us and I continue to break down and bawl in awe of His love for us. Why does He love us so? Why would He want to bless us sinners so? How is it possible for Him to love us so?

On Saturday morning before the yard sale, we had 3 gowns, two sleepers (larger sizes), 5 onesies and a couple blankets for Little Princess. The 3 gowns were supposed to have been in one of the baby girl totes that turned into ashes on Christmas Eve. Somehow they had found their way into our closet. How sweet to let Little Princess wear the same gowns that her big sisters wore when they were babies. I knew I would not be going out to buy clothes for Little Princess at this time and yet, we were to be leaving very soon for our baby girl. I knew the Lord would provide. I just knew it. At the end of our sale, my dear friend, Michelle showed up with a couple boxes of baby girl clothes from her daughter and neice, a car seat, and a pink bathtub seat! The Lord does provide! Then we received a sweet one piece from a wonderful lady at church on Sunday. Thank you Margret! While at church, another sweet lady stuffed a sweet gift in my hand and told me it was for our travel and legal expenses. Thank you Susi! Then on Sunday afternoon, our dear friends Hannah and Andy and their family came over. They brought us an adorable sleeper and sleep bag! Thank you Hannah, Andy, and family! The Lord continues to provide. Yesterday our mail brought 5 plus outfits from Aunt Christy! Thank you Aunt Christy and cousin Maggie! And today a wonderful lady who has been donating milk weekly to Seth, offered to give us some of her baby girl clothes! Thank you, Alisha! The Lord has provided abundantly!

I have been praying for clothes for Little Princess and milk for Seth and Little Princess. We are starting to run very low on milk and we need enough to travel to get Little Princess. We will be packing a full cooler of nothing but donor milk for our babies on the trip. I have continously asked God to provide that milk. A dear friend (thank you Hannah!) happened to have another friend who is moving and has 3000 oz. of milk in her freezer. She needs it moved like now! Would I be interested??? Oh, I dance for joy! The Lord has answered my prayer. We will have milk for both babies for the trip and then some.

Then I received two texts from a dear friend, Luann, whom I met through my need for donor milk. She said she had a large stash of milk and would I like it for our babies? She offered to be my “deep freeze” if I did not have room for it here. She told me she will not donate to anyone else. I broke down and began to cry. I had to pull over and bawl as I could no longer see the road from the tears. I just sat in a subdivision for several minutes just bawling and talking to God. It went something like this, “Oh, Lord, I asked you for milk for our babies and you are providing. You have heard my prayer. You are providing for YOUR babies. Oh, Lord, thank you.” I texted Luann back that I had to pull over and bawl, the Lord is so good to us, and that I loved her. She had no idea that we needed milk and yet, she said that she knew there was a reason why she had to give up this milk NOW. The reason was the Lord’s urging her to give to us. He provides.

Recently we have had a huge change in our finances. Don’t worry, Steve still has his job and we are not poverty-stricken. We are just having to live through an even tighter time than we have been. All is good. We know the Lord will provide. It may be a long time of waiting on Him to make things better/right, but He will provide. He will provide in His time, not ours. So, these little (huge) blessings have been awesome reminders of how much He loves us and is always here by our side.

Anyway, our children know that we are now down to our last amount of funds needed to travel and finalize on our baby girl’s adoption. $2,314. The Lord will provide. Tonight, He provided through one of our children. Our oldest daughter volunteered to clean out the horse stalls when the horse motel clients come over the weekend. She said she would donate her money that she earned from mucking the stalls to the adoption fund. She said she had been wanting to donate something to the fund. I cried. We usually pay our children a portion of what we earn from the horse motel clients, to muck the stalls. She said she did not need it and wanted it to go to fuel to drive to get Little Princess. Then she came back from her room with $12 for our adoption fund. Bless her heart. I grabbed her, hugged her and cried. You’ve done it Lord! You’ve given our child a heart for adoption. You’ve given her a heart filled with love for others. We praise you and thank you, Lord. She put $12 of her own, hard-earned money (she sold her first goat kid this year and was thrilled to have some money!) in our adoption fund and also volunteered to muck stalls (four stalls) for free and they are not even our horses! God is doing a mighty work in her and all of our children. Sometimes we see glimmers of the work He is doing and other times we wonder if His work is for naught. 🙂 These are His children and they are being raised for His glory. We are so thankful for this opportunity to be in the midst of such a wonderful crew!

So, make that $2,302 that we are down to! Praise God!

I am continuously amazed at how much the Lord loves us and how good He is to us. I cry with joy.

I am pulling over to bawl on this walk.

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